It’s a random Wednesday afternoon, and I feel one of my usual migraines coming on. I prepare for the pain and vision changes that force me to close my eyes and pray for relief. But, this time, the migraine never comes. Instead, I get body aches and a general sense of fatigue. I panic a little.

But I’m a mom, and that means I ignore it and start making dinner. I wait for my boyfriend and 10-year old son to come home. Now I really hurt, and joint pain sets in. In walk my boys. One is hungry and energetic; the other looks beat. “Are you okay, you look tired”, I say. He responds with, “I don’t know, I just feel this tiredness I can’t shake off and when I was driving home, my throat started hurting”. Uh-oh.

I grabbed our COVID-19 rapid test. Thankfully, we still had one! I force my boyfriend to sit still. He doesn’t think it’s COVID, but as soon as I set the test card down, it’s there, bright and clear and turning positive right away. I hopped online to find PCR tests for all of us. We all got tested the next day. We all had COVID-19.

It was different for all of us. I was the sickest (why is it always us moms?!?) but, thankfully, my son had no symptoms. While it was no fun to be sick, it really got me thinking. I realized just how blessed and privileged I was.

I was able to take the time off to recover without worrying that I might lose my job, or even lose any income thanks to sick time. As I eased back into work after being out for a bit, I was able to keep myself and others safe by working from home.

Why doesn’t everyone have these luxuries? Why isn’t taking care of ourselves a societal priority, and not just reserved for lucky people like me? What about the single mother that can’t afford to take time off? She has to risk her health in order to keep a roof over her family’s head and food on the table. Can you imagine being homeless with COVID? You can’t stay warm when the fever chills set in, and you may lack someone to check on you. How about a grandmother who can’t pick up groceries for fear of getting sick? 

I also thought of staff at our member food banks. Our colleagues and volunteers that have worked long hours, distributing food and making sure families and kids alike had enough to eat during this entire pandemic – two years and counting!

Time and time again, people were out there who wanted to help, just like these brave food bankers. Staff at hospitals. My AzFBN teammates working towards ending hunger before it starts. Every day essential workers, keeping trash pick-ups on time and grocery store shelves stocked.

Honestly, I felt guilty. After all,  just being able to recover is a luxury, too. At this point of the pandemic, most of us have lost someone or know someone who has – our food banks included. Brandi Smith worked tirelessly as Co-Director of Partnerships and Community Impact with Community Food Bank of Southern Arizona in Tucson. And David Schwake, a former AzFBN board member and advocate, embodied human kindness and refused to accept child hunger. Their deaths will be felt for years to come.

And so, having gone through this and come out the other side mostly unscathed, I am letting go of the guilt and deciding to focus on a few key things I learned that I want to share with you:

1. Count your blessings, every night before closing your eyes. If you can’t see them, start with the basics; shelter, your job, water, food, loved ones, HEALTH!
2. If you admire someone, tell them today. Time is a thief!
3. Grocery store pickup is your best friend. Trust me. Food, medicines, snacks. You name it. Use it!
4. Be kinder and more empathetic.
5. If you are struggling in any way, ask for help.

If you struggle with hunger in particular, visit www.azfoodbanks.org for resources, including how to find an emergency food box.

I’m on the mend now, and so is everyone in my family. How lucky we are.

– Wendy De La Peña, Communications and Outreach Manager