A full pantry is transformational – much like a mother’s love.
Monica is a mother of three, but she’s a guiding light for many more in her work as a case manager at a treatment center for people recovering from addiction. She’s doing her best to budget and make ends meet, just like the more than 800,000 Arizonans visiting food banks each month.
“I always want to make sure people feel comfortable getting the help they need, and one important way I can do that is by making sure they are fed and have access to food,” said Monica.
A combination of SNAP benefits and food banks gave Monica hope and relief when she was struggling through addiction and recovery herself. The support allowed her to focus on healing, building a stable future, and making sure her kids never worried about their basic needs.
When she was 18, Monica became a mom for the first time. Shortly after, 21 years ago, she had another child, bringing her third into the world just 5 years ago. She and the older kids struggled together through her bouts with addiction, through her eldest kids’ derailed high school experience because of the COVID-19 pandemic, and through every bit of uncertainty in between.
Today, they’re still gathering around the dinner table most nights.
“Food is always a way to bring the older two kids downstairs to have a conversation. They know we struggled somewhat [growing up], but as a mother I always tried to ensure they had what they needed,” said Monica.
Her older kids are earning their GEDs, and Monica is paying it forward through her full-time work at an intensive outpatient program. Monica remembers her childhood fridge being bare except for a jug of tea.
“But my mom always had something on the table for us for dinner,” she said.
Monica remembers her mom working as a waitress at the iconic Bill Johnson’s Big Apple in Central Phoenix, using her cash tips each night to bring a simple dinner home. Monica didn’t really know she was food insecure as a kid — her mom was “too proud to get on food stamps.”
But when Monica became pregnant the first time and received benefits, she realized what it was like to “actually have food in the house.”
4 years ago, becoming sober and gaining full-time, fulfilling employment, she lost her benefits. She struggled as she navigated a new path without the support she was familiar with, knowing that her paychecks wouldn’t stretch as far as she needed them to.
“For me, it felt like the end of the world…how was I going to feed my household and pay my bills at the same time? I have anxiety, and money is my biggest trigger,” said Monica. “I felt punished because I had a job, yet I also felt a proud moment realizing how far I’d come to [have too much income] and be denied food stamps.”
Lately, in addition to visiting St. Mary’s Food Bank when she occasionally needs help filling her pantry without SNAP benefits, Monica visits Desert Mission Food Bank regularly for her clients as one of her first-things-first tasks in regaining their independence.
“I’m never disappointed in what [the food banks] give us,” said Monica. “There were these little edible flowers in the last boxes I picked up for my clients, along with non-perishables, vegetables and fruit, and even meat.”
At the food banks, Monica is delighted by the bright and spirited volunteers and employees, “even on a hot summer day.” Being able to check such essential items off the to-do list while finding optimism and joy make a huge difference in the face of addiction.
“When the new intakes come in, sometimes they come straight from being on detox for seven days. Often, right before that, they were living on the streets. They come in with nothing to start all over again, so it feels so good to be able to say, ‘Hey, we have a food box for you.’ And they just light up,” said Monica.
Monica is learning how to budget so that she has a little bit of income left over after her weekly grocery trip, passing on what she learns to her kids and her clients. But she knows that another trip to the food bank is in her future.
When we asked, she said all she wanted for Mother’s Day was for her kids to grill her a juicy burger at home. Whatever it takes, she’ll make sure the fridge is stocked so they can do that – she always does.
To support the food banks that support mothers like Monica, please visit azfoodbanks.org/donate.
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